We all have those friendships where you are constantly trying to save your bestie from self-destruction. Talking them off ledges and out of those edge snatching braids they seen on that one girl in a Facebook video.

As friends we pride ourselves so much on being loyal that we are willing to prioritize our friend’s needs, emotions and well-being before our own. Constantly trying to catch them before they fall and stop the tears before they flow. This is when boundaries and obligations begin to blur. We go from being friend’s to being caretakers.

Those are the friendships that are one sided and draining. The friendships where you have to remind yourself; I am my sister’s keeper, not my sister’s savior.”

We enable these friendships to happen, we have created a pattern of “Oh, I’ll save you!”. These patterns create two different reactions, 1. That friend EXPECTS you to always be there or 2. That friend RESENTS you because you were right about whatever they needed “saving” from.

Either way you left feeling unappreciated and just sick of their shit frankly. Yet you sit there telling yourself you can’t cut them off because that’s your “sister”, she needs you! But guess who you need more?! YOURSELF. 

I am learning on this journey of self-love that romantic relationships aren’t the only types of toxic relationships that can leave you damaged mentally and emotionally. Those one-sided friendships are just as damaging. The constant stressing and concerning of another grown ass woman’s well-being is also traumatizing.

People often excuse those individuals with some bullshit ass response of “That’s just how they are!”.  That can’t continue to be an excuse as to why your “sister” can’t value, respect or reciprocate the love, loyalty and energy you put into them.

It is expected that as women who value their relationships with their girls that you are your Sister’s Keeper, but it is not your responsibility to be her savior. You deserve to surround yourself with uplifting women who KEEP you empowered and provide a balance so that your cup isn’t always full of other people’s hot messery.

 

Unapologetically Me,